So I was at Safeway the other night. Minding my own business, perusing the choices of meats obviously at 8pm, when this song starts playing on the loudspeakers.
I have a very visceral reaction to this song. It basically fueled a very key dramatic moment in my teenage life.
I was in ninth grade, a few weeks before the first big school dance. A boy had asked me to go to that dance. This was huge because this was the FIRST dance anyone had ever asked me to attend with them. I can’t even remember his name. Honestly I don’t even think he was that cute but the fact that he asked me to go was huge. I was beaming as I walked down the hallway, imaging what kind of night it would be, would I wear a frilly dress, would he buy me a corsage, will I have enough Aqua-Net to hold up my bangs….basically a flurry of awesome hopes scurried in my head. This all came to a crashing halt when a guy friend of mine stopped me and said “Don’t go to the dance with him. He’s been bragging about all the girls he’s asked to the dance but he’s not planning on taking any of you. You’re basically going to be waiting all night for him to pick you up.”
So me being 15 with no backbone and no experience in being totally humiliated, I say nothing.
He smiles at me in class, I smile back. He tells me he’s going to come and pick me up at 6pm. I shake my head in agreement.
The night of the dance comes. I get dressed like I’m going to go out. Its 6:30pm. No guy. Its 7:30pm. Still no one.
I am sitting in my bedroom listening to this song over and over and over again. I fall asleep in my dress listening to this song with a pile of Oreo cookies in my lap.
So here we are in 2009. I am at Safeway listening to this anthem of sadness when I start to get really pissed. (Minimally pissed at the guy who did that to me. If karma is anyway generous to me he’s now working as the dude who cleans out the port-a-potties.)
I am furious with myself that I actually loved this song. Like REALLY LOVED it. Like I copied it 10 times on each side of a cassette tape so when I was done listening to it on one side…. all I would have to do is flip it over and continue the madness.
This is not the sign of a healthy person.
Jesus Christ. Seriously who calls their band Breath?
I remembering recording this off the radio (by placing my cassette recorder in front of the stereo speaker and shushing my sisters, of course) along with Nelson, Wilson Phillips and George Michael. Playing them all over and over sitting in my room with my back to the door so my parents couldn’t walk in and hear what I was listening to. So. Tortured.
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I used to imagine that I was a figure skater, and that this was my solo performance song. Wow, I’m listening to the whole thing and reliving 1988 for a little bit.