This was exactly the sort of song that would inspire me to sit in the parking lot of Fatburger and stalk my ex-boyfriend while he worked the night shift. High school really honed my stalking skills to the point where now… if a girlfriend of mine needs me to check out a guy she’s thinking of dating….I find everything. I go deep. I don’t go into his trash can and get information…but pretty damn close. This comes naturally because I have spent hours….days…. analyzing the moves of the ones I “loved.”

I was not a healthy teenager. Thank god I’m using these skills for good instead of evil now.