Cornholio

Ok, so in college I was poor. It would be a Monday and I would realize that I have $20 and that amount was supposed to cover all meals for the week. So finding cheap and/or free meals on campus was key. Thankfully food companies would come on campus and give free samples of their latest wares. Sadly it was never anything healthy.

One day NutRageous came to Cal.

Doesn’t that look amazing??!!

I literally took 15 NutRageous full size candy bars home that day. So, it was like 3pm and I was watching MTV and got hungry. So I started eating. One NutRageous after another till…oh what a surprise they’re all gone.

I had no clue that my legs were shaking, I was all jittering and I was skipping tv channels at lightning speeds. Everything was really loopy.

My roommate Helen came home and right when she opened the door and said hi, I said this:

Hey, hi, how are you doing?
I did so much today.
I went to two classes.
Then went to work.
Then went to the bookstore and saw the new Maus books.
They’re awesome.
Then I got home and watched 4 episodes of the Real World
OMG. I can’t believe that dude slapped her.
I mean really. WTF
Oh, so you didn’t get any phone messages.
And we need to do our laundry this weekend.
Do you think you want to go to the city? Because I hear there might be a sale!
We could take the BART.
The BART is cool. I like the BART. Its fast
Oh and there’s a free movie screening on campus of Sense & Sensibility.
Do you want to see that?
I mean its cool. Its Jane Austen and all.
Not BBC but ya know cool.

Note. I never paused. I never took a breath. This all came out in one long stream of consciousness.

Helen dropped her bags and just stared at me. She asked WTF was wrong with me.

And I said:

Oh. What? I ate ALOT of NutRageous bars. I have SO MUCH energy. I FEEL GREAT!!!!!!

Helen sent me this video today reminding me that on the day she saw me wig out on chocolate was the day she realized she was living with Cornholio.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *